I was having trouble last week understanding Cosmo the Tow Truck Driver on the cellphone: "You oughtta g-g-get over here and s-see this f-firstha-and."
Cosmo sounded like a jackhammer operator, not a tower. People sound this way when they drive on pockmarked roads in southeastern Bergen County, especially Route 5.
But Cosmo Paris drives a modern machine with padded seats and heavy-duty shock absorbers. How uncomfortable could his roller coaster ride be?
I found him in Fort Lee, fittingly near the high-rises where Palisades Amusement Park once stood. But something was wrong.
"Where's your truck?" I said, eyeing his 20-year-old Ford Mustang.
"Don't worry, it's got new struts," he said. "Get in."
This ride would be a true test.